Summing it Up...

Now, that I'm way on the wrong side of sixty, I feel that being true to self is important. "I yam, what I yam." Kindness and smiles are to be given away. Women are strong. Men are more vulnerable than we believe. Husbands may come and go...but one thing I know for sure is that I will NEVAH live without a corgi or coffee in my life if I can prevent it. Come piles of dog fur or hot water!

Friday, November 04, 2011

Boyz to Men...


The female body is a marvelous machine...that is until you're on the wrong side of fifty."I am Woman, hear me roar" was the theme for women our age back in the day. Not only did we bring home the bacon but we put it in a pan.
These days, a few weeks following my sixth decade celebration, I find odd things happening that are vexing. Menopause is robbing me of my femininity. When ones ovaries sputter and begin to spit cotton do we become men? If not, then WHY do chin hairs sprout? What the devil is all this loose skin? Why do I have inch long hair on the back of my legs? Why do urinals suddenly make sense to me?

I had to plunge the toity in the library men's room the other day and while "in" there, I had a good looksee at the two urinals. They make perfect sense for use by women as long as we turned around to use them. We hardly sit on toilets anyway...we all do the squat in these germ infested days, right? Thoughts like these are disturbing.

When the estrogen flowed freely and rampantly I would NEVER have had these thoughts. I took collagen and plump lips for granted. Perky boobs that pointed out not down were the norm. Sigh....I feel the need to wear plaid oxford shirts and watch This Old House. I want to hold the remote and scratch. If I get a hankering for Skoal, I'm going to visit the Ob-Gyn and get back on hormones!

7 comments:

Chatty Crone said...

So you turned 60 - I'm heading there soon myself. Gosh it seems like so much fun - you make it seem so exciting. Thanks a lot! lol

sandie

ArtyMarti said...

I was at my grandkids playing, and my g-daughter started laughing, she said "Gramma has turkey neck" So you forgot to mention all the jokes that you will inspire.

phaedra96 said...

Still this side of sixty, myself. Someone once said 'Growing old is NOT for wimps!' They forgot to add just how much it sucks!!

April said...

Boy...what an enchanting post about aging! Makes me want to run out & buy some industrial wrinkle cream immediately! I told Keith last week that "I don't like what my face is doing", and I'm only 35!

JeanMac said...

Ha, ha, join the club except I'm 66!

Taryn said...

Funny post! I am just a bit past fifty, but all your well-made points hit home!

phaedra96, in her comment, says aging sucks....but alas, it sure beats the alternative!

ocmist said...

You are so funny... and way to truthful. Just remember, unfortunately, You...are...NOT...alone! :(

You can get natural estrogen hormones from lots of different foods. Check out this webpage:
http://www.holisticonline.com/remedies/hrt/hrt_food_and_estrogen.htm#containing

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