Summing it Up...

Now, that I'm way on the wrong side of sixty, I feel that being true to self is important. "I yam, what I yam." Kindness and smiles are to be given away. Women are strong. Men are more vulnerable than we believe. Husbands may come and go...but one thing I know for sure is that I will NEVAH live without a corgi or coffee in my life if I can prevent it. Come piles of dog fur or hot water!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Growing Pains?

We all have a favorite month, or season. October is mine. Today we said goodbye. November has arrived. Earlier this month, I became 59. Somehow, saying "pushin' 60" sounds more vibrant and zesty, don't you think?
It took this long, it seems, for me to finally figure out...that happiness comes from within, and if mama ain't happy, then SHE better do something about it. Many of us wait...and wait, on others, to complete us. Trust's not gonna happen! Do you feel that acceptance of people or a situation is resignation, giving up... or growth?

Many of you are smarter than the old dog mama writing this. It hit me, this month, that life was passing by, and my wait and see attitude, was ridiculous. I was waiting...waiting for the right time to act, or for people to change, or was blaming, and often practiced other unattractive, negative, passive-aggressive behaviors. While the true way to create change was... Duh... to change myself!

Today, after attending church with Josh, I made dinner for the family members who live in town...because I like to cook. Then, I raked the yard, smelling the autumn scents and listening to the rustle of leaves. The sky was the exact same color as a blue jay. The sun shone, the corgi kids and my MIL's golden retriever were all outside enjoying the day with me.
The air was crisp. I was getting exercise, and it felt good. The dogs and I circled a cedar-scented fire in the fire pit as we relaxed and soaked in the soft afternoon rays. The fire's heat on my knees and feet felt wonderful.
The bird feeders were filled again after a summer of the birds fending for themselves. Three pairs of cardinals and a dozen wrens celebrated the banquet. It was a darn nice day.

Contentment goes a long way.I gave it to myself. No demands were put upon
on anyone else by going outside, and entertaining myself, There is a danger to this... this going your own way, and not being demanding. People do require a certain amount of attention in a relationship. Over time, that lack can chip away at feelings. But...I'll think about that later, fiddle dee dee. For now, letting go is very freeing. I think, that now, at pushin' 60....this old gal, just might be growing up. Consider me, these days, a work in progress. Baby steps.


Angela said...

Hey Corgidogmama!

You made me want to go outside and enjoy my day but it is just too danged cold to go out there right now! 32 degrees with frost on the ground. I did fill up my bird feeders the other day. The birds have been having a feast. They are already out of seed! Hopefully Mr. Sun will come out later today and I can go out and fill up my feeders again.

Have a Great Day!

Pam said...

Like your new look here! You're right on spot! I was 65 in May and finally realized that I can not depend on other people to make me happy. It's my choice when I get out of bed each day to be happy and optimistic or not. It's great to have family and friends who make you happy, but it comes from within. When you place your happiness in their control, you give them the power to make you happy, sad or angry.

And I'm no longer concerned about acceptance by other people like when I was much younger, at school or work, "I am who I am, take it or leave it!"

Whew! Have a great evening and I'm ready for summer now. Enough of this cool stuff and winter, snow, ice, wind aren't here yet.

Peanut said...

The things that make November a miracle is Peanut's birthday (Peanut is turning 1 on Nov.9!) And Thanksgiving is exciting too.

phaedra96 said...

We are filling feeders this weekend; I think it is time. (We ran out of propane Sunday a.m.--24 hours is a loooong time when the temp hovers around 60 with two heaters running!!) Turns out the guy who set the tank did not come back and fill it up. Phew!! Bill was freaked we ran through 400 gallons in a month!!!) Time to put in the water tank heater, put wood in for the wood furnace when the wind chill goes below zero, stock up on feed, extra groceries except perishables. As for being accepting of taking care of yourself for yourself, I learned that in my first marriage(that I gave up on after seventeen years). I could only depend on myself to be happy. Having good friends helps, but in the end only I can decide to be happy--or not and only I can change that if I need to do so. Depending on someone else for that makes you unhappy and them also; since they cannot, will not or may not know how. Hugs, hugs and more hugs....have any trick or treaters or did you turn off your light and hide?

Ms Sparrow said...

What a lovely post! Contentment is vastly underrated as a personal goal. Not only did you achieve it, but passed it along to others.
Well done!

Chatty Crone said...

Well hello you one hot smart mama!

I loved this blog - what you say is so true. We can not depend on others for our happiness and we can't blame them for our unhappiness either I suppose.

Life is a choice - every single thing and every single day. And it is not easy.

Sounds like you are figuring things out on your way to 60!

Love your new blog look too.

I am so glad you took control of the weekend and just had some plain old fun.


Whosyergurl said...

I LOVE this post! You are getting so smart in your old age! YAY for you! Love the new look of your blog, too!
I turned 52 on Oct. 20th and it has taken me awhile, too. Sometimes baby steps are all we can muster, but as long as we are moving forward...keep on a movin'!
Love ya! Cheryl

ClassyChassy said...

Thoughtful expressions, dear! I was out last night raking leaves in pitch blackness, the fire burning in the fire pit, blackening the rocks around it...and every push of leaves into the fire brought a renewal of the flames and intense heat - felt good, and brought back memories of when I was younger helping my dad rake and burn leaves in the big rusty burn barrel in our alley...Times like these give us time to think, time to remember. Hubby was indoors getting ready to grill dinner, and I just did what I felt like doing, remembering Papa and the good ole days....peaceful.

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