We all have a favorite month, or season. October is mine. Today we said goodbye. November has arrived. Earlier this month, I became 59. Somehow, saying "pushin' 60" sounds more vibrant and zesty, don't you think?
It took this long, it seems, for me to finally figure out...that happiness comes from within, and if mama ain't happy, then SHE better do something about it. Many of us wait...and wait, on others, to complete us. Trust me...it's not gonna happen! Do you feel that acceptance of people or a situation is resignation, giving up... or growth?
Many of you are smarter than the old dog mama writing this. It hit me, this month, that life was passing by, and my wait and see attitude, was ridiculous. I was waiting...waiting for the right time to act, or for people to change, or was blaming, and often practiced other unattractive, negative, passive-aggressive behaviors. While the true way to create change was... Duh... to change myself!
Today, after attending church with Josh, I made dinner for the family members who live in town...because I like to cook. Then, I raked the yard, smelling the autumn scents and listening to the rustle of leaves. The sky was the exact same color as a blue jay. The sun shone, the corgi kids and my MIL's golden retriever were all outside enjoying the day with me.
The air was crisp. I was getting exercise, and it felt good. The dogs and I circled a cedar-scented fire in the fire pit as we relaxed and soaked in the soft afternoon rays. The fire's heat on my knees and feet felt wonderful.
The bird feeders were filled again after a summer of the birds fending for themselves. Three pairs of cardinals and a dozen wrens celebrated the banquet. It was a darn nice day.
Contentment goes a long way.I gave it to myself. No demands were put upon
on anyone else by going outside, and entertaining myself, There is a danger to this... this going your own way, and not being demanding. People do require a certain amount of attention in a relationship. Over time, that lack can chip away at feelings. But...I'll think about that later, fiddle dee dee. For now, letting go is very freeing. I think, that now, at pushin' 60....this old gal, just might be growing up. Consider me, these days, a work in progress. Baby steps.