This would be funny....if it wasn't so TRUE!

Questionnaire from the American Association Of Retired People



Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who
are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the
basement.

When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible.
Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way
to Egypt ...."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+-year-old
husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those
wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+-year-old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with
short-term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the
problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when
They enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE!! You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

The calendar says Spring, but 'tis it?

Surely others out there experience this: When you feel a spurt of energy, you take advantage of it. The other day the sun was shining, the sky was blue and life felt pretty good. Since the arthritis wasn't at scream level, getting a head start on spring cleaning felt like the thing to do. Down came the curtains, out came the windex, and the washing machine was busy all afternoon. Cobwebs that decorated corners all winter were annihilated. It felt good to kick butt on a sleepy house that had become cluttered and dust filled. Getting one's house in order, mentally and physically. Just another way for women to express themselves...there's no changing a man, but by golly give us a house to rearrange, and we're happy!

The local retired state rep had his pasture full of spring sheep. Their tails hadn't been docked and it was an interesting sight. I pulled to the shoulder of the highway, and Addie popped her head out to say hello, startling the entire flock into a stampede. Sigh....I think she's menopausal. Do corgis become menopausal? She has all the signs. Snapping, snarling, moodiness, water retention.....
We went to see horses, enjoying the sun's warmth, lazily rolled over onto their sides. Boom! Addie did her glass breaking yip hello, and they jumped up and tore to the other end of the field. Sheesh...she needs to work on socialization skills.

If you know anything about Indiana, you most likely have heard of Shipshewana, in the heart of Amish country. It's full of interesting shops, the sound of clip clops, horse turds in the street, and good food. There's a terrific place to get warm, soft pretzels and cherry cokes and people don't mind standing in line with twenty people in front of them. Anyway, a friend and I are driving up on Thursday. It's about 60 miles north of us, and a pretty drive. The corgi kids will go along and we'll make a day of it. Sort of a girls-dogs day out. Is that legal in all states?

Major projects need to be worked on here. A serious clean up in the garage and organization. The RV needs to be cleaned inside again from our hurried emergency trip to Florida this winter, and put up for sale. I'll be fermenting two straw bales again, getting them ready for garden plants. It worked great last year, no getting down on knees to harvest and a friend who has horses is giving me a couple of bales. Painting...yeah, that's on the list as well, two rooms at least before fall.
Now...where did that energy spurt go? Dang it! The TO DO list is growing. It's no wonder that Jim is on the road all the time...it's an evasive action!

Anyone else thinking about spring projects? Beaches? New book titles? Running away with the UPS man? Hee hee, got 'cha with that one, didn't I?

Feeling naughty...blaming Spring...

Is it just me, or have you EVER just ached to say this to someone? (Not neccessarily your husband...this time!)

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
~Will Rogers

Memories...

When we were kids growing up in Hillsdale, Michigan, we always tapped our trees.
I remember buckets hanging from them, and I think it was a common sight to see in the late fifties. My mom would boil down the collected sap and we'd pour it over french toast and her homemade pancakes.

Not so common now, however, here in rural Indiana, I was happy to see this familiar sight again. The family is Old Brethren, which is very similar in lifestyle to the Mennonite. The corgis love to stick their heads out to spook their goats and shiny hens, as we drive by. The goats are often in the barn doorway, deciding whether to come out or not. The hens are bolder, when the weather is fair. There is a Fresh Brown Eggs sign tacked to one of the big trees at the edge of the gravel drive.
I'd move there in a minute. But the hens and goats would have to be part of the deal. The buckets too. I want to collect syrup again. What fun. It makes me feel all sappy inside just thinking about it!